Handling Divorce Like a Grown-up: 3 Approaches to Maintain the High Ground

Divorce is never easy but it can be easier

It’s easy to say that divorce can have a major impact on everyone because the initiation of divorce will cause a cascade of emotional events that can make many people feel like they’ve got to play dirty. It’s easy to see why this happens; when we are upset because we’ve been cheated on or had the rug pulled out from underneath us, we are exposed to the elements. This is why, during divorce or separation, it’s important to handle it like a grown-up and do it as peacefully as possible. What does this entail?

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Do Your Homework First

Divorce can trigger feelings of failure, which can have an impact on our self-esteem. But we must remember that divorce is a process that we can benefit from in some way. It’s not necessarily about going to divorce law solicitors and being prepared to fight for everything, but about understanding that divorce can be a peaceful process where everybody can get what they want or, at the very least, find a common ground. 

It’s important to understand the basics of divorce laws, and depending on where you are, there can be no-fault divorces, which can make for a smoother process. This might be a better solution for you because you can get everything over and done with. We can feel incredibly emotional during this process, but there is the practical side that needs to be dealt with.

Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself

The divorce proceedings are the beginnings of a whole new life, for better or worse. It’s important to have perspective. If you feel any shame about the marriage or relationship ending, it takes two to tango. It takes two people to be in a relationship and it takes two people to end one. You may feel some form of guilt or remorse that you didn’t do enough or you have failed others who, frankly, you should not consider. 

If you are met with a cold shoulder by the parents-in-law and you are spending a lot of mental energy worrying about this, it’s far better for you to focus on yourself and forgive yourself, regardless of what has happened. You need to work your way through the divorce process emotionally so you can move on when it is right.

Find a New You

The divorce process can involve a lot of waiting around. The time it takes to divorce can be upwards of a year, meaning you feel like it’s hanging over your head. But this is the perfect opportunity for you to discover new things about yourself and prioritise new hobbies or interests that you can look forward to and start when this line in the sand has been drawn. 

New hobbies can help you to stop dwelling on what has happened and is the perfect opportunity to fill your days. You might find that now you have more time than ever, which is the perfect opportunity to start discovering new and exciting hobbies or tools to make you a better version of yourself.

Rather than engaging in conflict and fighting to the bitter end, handling divorce or separation like a grown-up is not just going to help the process but will make you feel like you’ve taken the high ground.

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