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Sexual Pleasure – The Taboo for Women

Women’s Sexual Pleasure! The taboo we are all talking about

In recent weeks there has been a huge increase in discussions around sexual pleasure. Specifically women’s sexual pleasure and how it is still a taboo subject to be spoken about. This was made more apparent when Zoe Sugg and her Zoella team, wrote their post exploring the most enjoyed sex toys of 2020. The reaction to said post says it all and was less than positive.

sexual pleasure

At school we are taught about masterbation and how it is “normal and natural”. So when does this stop applying to women? When from being a teen it’s “normal” did it become “dirty” or “wrong” to self pleasure? Why did it change? So many questions my loves.

So what is it about women’s sexual pleasure that leaves others weak at the knees? Let’s take a moment to look at women’s sexual pleasure and how it is portrayed to make women feel “slutty” for wanting it.

The Backlash of Female Sexual Pleasure

Using the recent Zoella Sex Toys Post for reference is a great start as it really shows the extent that others go to when shaming women for wanting to enjoy sex. In particular masturbation and self-pleasure because only guys can wank!

sexual pleasure zoella sex toys

After the UK GCSE Exams board were aware of the new content available on, they dropped her from their media syllabus. The Independent, The Times and The Daily Mail, to name only a couple managed to find this front-page news. More worrying than that was the number of people agreeing that Zoe was “wrong” for posting the topic in the first place. The headings trying to sell it as sex toys sold to teenagers instead of the best sold sex toys of 2020.

What we learnt from this is we don’t want women to know about self-pleasure and we don’t want to hear about it either. In any capacity or any form, in 2021, it’s time to get into this century.

We also learnt that if you are in the medias eye then this is ten fold. Baring in mind Zoe Sugg’s main audience is women aged 25-35 and she was still dragged through the mud. Women’s sexual pleasure is not something to be afraid of or ashamed of!

Why Self-Pleasure is Important

Knowing your body is always so important and that’s both sexually and platonically. Taking the time to know yourself intimately is so important. Not only do you know what you enjoy in sex (women enjoying sex is a whole other blog post) but also what you don’t. That’s not even scratching the health benefits of female masturbation.

sexual pleasure

Did you know that an orgasm is the best drug-free dopamine blast you can get? Dopamine is our happy hormone and can have a huge effect on our mood. This will help you feel relaxed, happy, calm and who doesn’t want that.

Masturbation can also release other chemicals that can help calm your mind and help you sleep. Perfect if your finding drifting off a struggle and will leave you relaxed and satisfied. The perfect combo!

How Do You Enjoy Masturbation?

Everybody has a very different personal journey of self-pleasure and that is ok. Some of us love that 10 minutes alone to take care of ourselves. Are you my babes who are counting down to bed time? Perhaps you only partake if sex hasn’t been available. Great for you hun! Maybe you only ever partake when your significant other is involved? Personal masturbation is not for everyone so there will be some who don’t masturbate AT ALL! That is also ok and I’ll tell you why. IT IS YOUR BODY! Plain and simple.

For those who are well on their journey of self sexual pleasure what are your tips for really making the most of your time alone? I would suggest, for those yet to eat of the fruit of self-pleasure, take it slowly and start small!

What Can I Use for Self Sexual Pleasure?

There are so many amazing products on offer to aid women’s masturbation. Proof that it is happening and isn’t going to stop so let’s get over it! Here is a small shortlist of types of vibrators available for some well-deserved self-gratification.

Clitoral Sexual Pleasure

sexual pleasure

Clitoral Sex toys focus mainly on the clitoral area, go figure. They will usually have smaller appendages so you can focus on the clitoral area. Being super sensitive is a great starting point if you’re wanting to look into self-pleasure. Gentle and with no physical penetration this is a good build-up for those just starting on their self-pleasure journey.

Massage Wand

They look like microphones! I mean let’s call it as we see it and we see a microphone. That aside this bad boy is usable ANYWHERE on the body so long as it’s clean. The intensity of vibrations is a lot more variable on our friend here. Meaning you are in full control of your sexual pleasure at all moments. Another great starter toy to play with if you’re not used to taking masturbation into your own hands. Simple to use and pleasure to be had!


This little secret ninja of the sexual pleasure world is the bullet. Small, compact and so discreet this little baby is a winner. They say size doesn’t matter and here they mean it. Don’t let the size of the bullet trick you into thinking they can’t do much. Most are very powerful and are fab for some more clitoral stimulation due to there shape. Simple but effective is what we want and what you get with a bullet.


The one made famous by Ann Summers we have the rabbit! A full vibrator with added clitoral stimulation for maximum pleasure. Most people are more aware of the rabbit and what it is does. However I feel society see’s full vibrators as something for single women and that just isn’t true. If you can’t get a dick you buy a dildo? No honey! When you want to play by yourself the rabbit is going to hit the spot.


sexual pleasure

A little newer in the sex toy world is suction power for female sexual pleasure with Clit suction toys. Comparable to oral sex this little device uses air suction to pleasure the area. I have seen so many memes and funny reviews for these that say they’re incredible. Would you try something new like this?


Wearable? Yes, self pleasure toys you can wear and no one will know! Great for couples but just as fun for solo play. These are used more to build up the sexual tension over a longer period of time. They come in all shapes, sizes and styles. These would need some research if your wanting to use them as they’re are so many choices.

The Truth About Female Sexual Pleasure

It matters! It is not disgusting and does not make us “slags” for wanting to be fulfilled to the best of our abilities. Having a fulfilling sexual relationship with someone else brings closeness and love. Extending those same emotions to our own bodies should not be taboo.

If male masturbation is encouraged with the likes of page 3 and very sexually charged magazines that aren’t categorised as porn. Why are women made to feel like they shouldn’t do it or it should be some kind of secret? The truth is we don’t and we need to be more open about the subject. The more we expose women’s sexual pleasure as a good thing hopefully our world will begin to understand that masturbation is healthy.

young black woman with closed eyes touching chin

We tell our girls at school that exploring your body is natural and all part of the course of growing up. Secretly this is a lie and society doesn’t want us to be touching ourselves for our own pleasure. Do what you want, it’s your body and you need to know it. If you don’t want to, guess what, cool, it’s your body you can do what you want. Let’s start to embrace sexuality with positivity.

The final point. Females maturbate too. Get over it and stop trying to make women feel shame on this subject. Sexual pleasure is important and should be for both men and women.

I would love to know your stance on this subject? Also if you’re looking for more information you can check out my previous post about sex toys with lots of choices to go through for both couples and solo play! Have safe fun guys!

Lots of Love,
Tahnee xxx

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