Everybody always has there knowledge to throw in when you are having a baby. But today I’m all about the truths. From Vaginas to kitchen habits…..
Hello my little lovelies and how are you today? I am well and today I am discussing having a baby and the unspoken quirks that will follow as you start the journey of becoming a parent. Most people have a misconception of parenthood and have images of this fluffy warm bubble you get enveloped in. This does happen for all of a week or two. Dependent, also, on what number child it is. When there’s more than one the bubble lasts even less time. I mean life, routine all the rest of it!!
Having a baby and becoming a parent will have some secret moments you may or may not be aware of. I am sharing them today so you can be fully prepared for the crazy journey of parenthood.
Sleeping, What’s That?
We all know that when having a baby and becoming a parent that sleep will become a distant memory for a while. You will, I repeat will, be nodding off while feeding and cover your babies face in milk. You will feel like a ‘Mombie’ for a while as you settle into the new routine. However, one thing people forget to mention is how this starts BEFORE your baby arrives.
You do have a small human that feels like the size of a whale up your front. But why the heck is their awake time the second the bump hits the mattress? Yoga, Gymnastics or rib football, it’s like they already know it’s their job to keep you awake.
Then getting comfortable, staying comfortable and not needing to pee. That really is the dream. It’s probably the only one you’ll have for a little while as this stage feels like it lasts too long. So the sleepless nights actually prepare for you a baby but when your overly large, tired, stressed and growing a human being. Sleep would be good. This means you want to stock up on sleep while you can my loves. I mean even as little kids they’re up at the crack of dawn. My eldest is 7 now and I can say I see no lie in from them on the horizon. It is so worth every second of lost sleep though!
Your Vagina and Becoming A Parent
Vagina’s and pregnancy go hand in hand when having a baby. Although you’re told about various ailments your vagina may go through there is so much they don’t tell you.
The first thing is discharge and fluid. Yes ‘Ewww’ but facts I’m afraid. Due to hormones, your vagina may start to produce more discharge and this can be a pain. A sanitary pad can be placed inside your underwear to help.
Thrush or just itching, in general, can be a nightmare in pregnancy. If it is becoming a problem then please go see your doctor or midwife. Vaginas and their health are important. Even more so while pregnant as it’s the only natural exit plan for your baby.
Your vagina can also swell and tingle during pregnancy. Oh yes you read that right swelled up cooch is possible. Essentially having a baby makes your vagina really mad at you. Probably all too aware her buzz cut is about to become an overgrown bush, due to neglect. But she will misbehave for the next nine months.
Becoming A Parent Means Bodily Fluids
When having a baby and becoming a parent you will always be shocked at the number of bodily fluids that you have to cope with. It’s start with period blood and black tar-like poo that your baby has in their first days of life. This is just hospital fluids.
Then there are milk-soaked circles on all your tops because they just won’t stop leaking. Feeling scared you may pee on yourself when you need to cough or sneeze, as your muscle are gone, holding it is not an option. Pelvic floor exercises will help.
You will be peed on by the baby for sure like 100%. Poopnami’s will happen where you have to bath the child to remove the poop. Up to the armpits, up to their backs and down their legs! This will happen.
Vomit is probably next. I mean it really is a sh#t show of bodily fluids from every angle. You better start strengthing your stomach now! As your child ages, these become less and easier to handle? Making bodily fluids slowly a thing of the past.
I Like That!
Let’s move onto food, shall we? Every plate of food you have they will want. They use the phrase ‘OOOH I like that?’ is it a question or a statement? It’s both! They want your food and now they will stand and stare at you until you share. No mum they do not want the exact same meal you put on their plate. They want yours.
Then there is the daily battle of snacks. No not for the kids for you. You will never be able to snack properly again. From hiding in the bathroom with biscuits to saying you’re tidying their toys. They never want to help so won’t follow you. This is prime snacking time.
But overall you share food now Mum as that’s the joys of having a baby and becoming a parent. So, not only are they content with stealing your food but these little people want to feed more than most adults I know! From ‘I’m still hungry’ straight after a meal to can I have a snack one million times a day? I’m not sure where they put it either but my two could eat all day every day solidly.
and your stuff…
Then there are your belongings that will get lost and broken or used for toys. I’m, also, not sure why becoming a parent calls for your sanity to be tested to the limits with questions that don’t make sense, or crying because the cup is green, not blue. But at least if you guys are prepared maybe you can save some of it.
Becoming A Parent and Losing All Dignity
Do you enjoy taking your dump alone? NOT ANYMORE!!! Now you have a dump buddy who will follow you to the bathroom every time. So if you’re using the bathroom for a secret snack moment (see above) lock that door!!
However, whether it’s peeing, pooping or bathing. You will find after having a baby this become the hardest thing to do alone. Your either rushing as your baby is little and needs your attention or you have spectators. If you’re about to become a parent then make the most of these alone moments now as they’re not going to last.
As stated above bathing in peace or alone or for more than 10 minutes might become a distant memory. I now bathe when my children are in bed to avoid the ‘Mum I need a juice’ or my personal fave ‘I really need a poo’. Yes, this is what you have to look forward to if you’re having a baby. This is what parenthood is guys, exciting eh? Not quite what you promised?
Washing, Washing and more… Washing!
We spoke above about bodily fluids and this is the aftermath of it. No one forewarned me about the mountain of washing a newborn could create. What with all the layers they wear and blankets. The sick and nappy leaks will contribute to this massively. However, my best advice for this is to make sure you’re laundry is done before the baby arrives. This way you’re not adding to an impending pile of doom. But it was a little bit of a shock as to how much laundry one tiny person can make. Plus babies have more wardrobe changes than Britney!
Goodness Gracious Great Boobs of Fire
Getting on your tits will become ALL too real. This will probably start in pregnancy and similarly to the vagine problems. Your boobs will get them to. From hurting to feeling like they’re burning hot and on fire. Getting bigger and heavier as your pregnancy progress’. No longer able to comfortably wear a bra. All culminating in an explosion of milk leaks to finish it off! So yeah fun time with your boobs. Now there are tips galore when it comes to pregnancy and boobs. Mine is cabbage leaves if you’re not breastfeeding. Savoy cabbage in the bra can really help soothe or ice packs if you are breastfeeding. But again always check with a health professional.
It Must Be Love
Finally is the one thing that having a baby and becoming a parent brings is love and joy. The only problem is describing it. You look at their little face or while they’re sleeping and a rush of emotions fills your chest.
Unlike common belief, this does not always happen the second you see their face, that’s ok and normal. But it will come and you will wonder what you did so right in your life to deserve this little person. To get to love this little human that, to you, is perfect in every way. If you do find yourself struggling with this then do reach out as there is so much help available. You’re not alone in how you feel and there are options there to support you.
Watching their first steps to their first school day. It’s such a rollercoaster of pride and love. One note on this love that I think is important for all those becoming parents. Nobody will love your child more than you and nobody can love your child more than you! I say this because I have found that many parents expect you to care just as much about their children as you do your own. Now although you love and care for other children the bond between a parent and your own child is something on another level.
I only have 7 years of parenting under my belt so I know I have a lot more yet to come! To be honest, it makes me excited and nervous. The thought of having teens is daunting (lol). Are you having a baby soon or perhaps you’ve already become a parent? What are you’re unexpected parenting moments? Or if you’re not there yet please leave any questions in the comment. Don’t forget to share on social media and tag your friends who are having a baby soon. Then they can be fully prepared for becoming a parent. Or check out this Parenting Blog that shares real-life experiences, tips and tricks. As shared by another real mum living with little monsters.
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Lots of Love,