Are you failing your kids???
So today’s blog is 100% the most personal one to date but I also feel it might be my most important. Am I failing as a mother? In today’s society, Mum’s are really under the microscope for pretty much everything. From style to your job and even how we choose to parent is sometimes called in question. It can be so hard to feel like your actually succeeding at this parenting malarky and let’s admit it, it is a really hard job. The mum guilt can be real and we all feel it.
Am I failing as a Mother?
So am I failing at being a mum? Am I potentially failing my children?
I mean there are days when we live on chocolate spread sandwiches and chips for tea! Where we stay in pj’s and only watch films and play video games. There are days where I don’t do the washing up or I’m really behind on the washing. There are even some days when I don’t bother at all besides feeding the boys. No, I don’t always manage to get the reading homework done that day. I also 100% take time for me and don’t feel 1 bit bad for that! I used to get really down when I felt I hadn’t achieved enough in a day. Or I hadn’t had enough hours in a day to get bath time done. Or I just didn’t feel like it, it was a ‘meh’ sort of day.
The Truth
Let me explain why………… I AM A HUMAN!! Yes I am a mum and I have a house to take care of but I am human. Some days I don’t want to try, or brush my hair or even bathe! Do you want to know the best thing though……. IT DOESN’T MATTER! None of it!
The thing that matters is still a work in progress and that’s my boys who will one day be men. In the grand scheme of things, I have been a mum a very short 7 years. I can’t mentally cope if I beat myself up daily over the hoovering that didn’t get done or the fact I took a few hours for myself. What good am I to my boys then? Also, what am I teaching them? That a mother should just run herself into the ground for the sake of what STRANGERS or supposed ‘friends’ might say of them. Hell no that’s not happening.
What I will teach my little minions is that everyone is a person. A delicate, angry, tired, happy, giving, loving, hate doing the washing up HUMAN.
Conclusions
So am I failing my boys by not having every chore done in one day? No, I’m not I’m teaching them that living a life is better than just cleaning one. When I don’t cook ‘proper’ dinners and we live on junk am I failing my boys? No of course not when we consider the poor starving children in the world. My children go to bed with food in their stomachs and that is a blessing. The only way I could fail them is if I knowingly allow them to be mistreated. That would obviously never happen.
It’s so easy to get bogged down by the ‘parent police’ all over social media but from me to you. You are doing a fantastic job! Even if you’re sat here reading this in pj’s in the middle of the day. If the washing is pilling and you sit watching your fav programme instead. You get one life and living it doesn’t mean you are failing as a mother or failing your children!
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and if your looking for some more parenting posts you can find all of mine by clicking this link.
Lots of Love,
Tahnee xxx
My kids only have paws, but don’t get so hard on yourself. You have beautiful children and I am sure they are happy for everything you do. Happy Mother’s Day!
Awww thank you. I also know fur babies are just as demanding. I’m definitely not hard on myself anymore 🙈🙈 as you said my boys were fine my fella was fine it was just me. Xxxx
This totally hit home for me! When my oldest son was born, my life was about trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations…. and it was exhausting! Happy to report my mindset has changed a lot since then. Love your honesty!
Thank you so much hun. You’re right though it is exhausting xxx
Love this! Thank you for sharing something so personal with us.
Awww thanks hun. I’m finding it a lot easier to do so. I don’t have a perfect life but I have one where I learn everyday if that can help someone else that’s brilliant xxxx
mother is a precious gift. loved your blog. beautifully written.
Thank you so much 🙂
Being a mother is not easy and most mothers, like yourself, give their best.
100% but its always us who beats or selves up the most. I like to remind everyone they’re humans to. xxx
Awww thanks hun. I also completely agree on your point of judging and not helping. That for me is the worse. That should be our source of reprieve and advice but most of the time it’s just judgements xxx
Your kids are too cute! Being a mom is a tough job but someone’s gotta do it:)
Aww thank you and yes it’s tough I wouldn’t change it for the world xxx